Bogged Down By the Small Stuff

What attracted me to Islam was the logic of it. Coming from a Christian background, Islam just seen so much more rational. Gone were the confusing ideas of the Trinity and original sin. The required belief in all the messengers of God fit with my pre-existing idea that traditions like Buddhism and Native American beliefs were not at odds with belief in God (This is in contrast to the Christian homeschool textbooks that I was exposed to, which condemned Yoga because of it's 'pagan' origins.). The Quran even contains science in it. Yes, it seemed to me to be a religion of logic.

Just before and following my conversion, I began to be introduced to the less logical aspects. I was told music was bad, to only eat with my right hand, could not keep a dog as a pet, that the testimony of two women was required, to cover myself, and that games and other frivolous activities should be avoided.

There seemed to be so many rulings that seem superstitious or cultural. They all seemed to come from Hadiths. The result of being told all these rules was a decreased desire to learn more about my new religion. This also manifested in a decreased intrest in the Prophet Muhammad.

So, for the past few years I have been religiously stagnant. I could never go back to Christianity, I cannot believe in Christian doctrine anymore. This combined with my feeling of disconnect from the above mentioned rules led me to privately incline towards deism or agnosticism.

However much I doubted, I could not reject religion entirely, and Islam specifically, because of two experiences. The first time I attempted the five daily prayers, I felt a closeness to something greater than myself when performing the nighttime one. A few years later, during Ramadan, I felt like I was connected to every other Muslim on the planet. These are feelings that I had never felt in Christianity, thus helping to confirm my continued disbelief in it. More than that, however, they helped me to feel that however much I doubted, Islam was still the right path. I just needed to reconnect with what led me down this path to begin with.

To that purpose I have started to re-learn about Islam. I have recently read Karen Armstrong's Islam: A Short History and Muhammad: Biography of a Prophet. I decided to learn from these because I wanted knowledge that was not infused with Arab cultural influences. Also, I knew that she has a good reputation as a religious historian.

As I mentioned earlier, early on I felt a disconnection from Muhammad based on the rules that I was taught by my Muslim mentors. Ironically, a non-Muslim gave me the knowledge that I needed to appreciate and connect with the Prophet. She writes that Muhammad devoted his life to trying to improve conditions for women, children, orphans, slaves, and animals. He worked towards improved social justice and abolishing much of the tribal feuding that existed. Thanks to her books, I finally feel a connection to and appreciation of Prophet Muhammad that I had never felt in my nine years as a Muslim.

If you go here, there is advice for converts suggesting them to avoid them getting bogged down by the small stuff.

In upcoming posts, I will discuss my conclusions on the troubling rules that I referred to earlier and how isolating the conversion process is.